you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Operation Purity has been aborted
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
