After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize