So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
