I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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