Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
