id be glad to
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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