these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
