I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
