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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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