i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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