you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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