actually, I'm a sock model
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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