i permit you to call me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you had me at cake vodka
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
