My first STD was from a foam party
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
wow bdsm is so cute
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
