Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
