i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
