Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize