i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
