Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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