Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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