Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
