best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
