Life is so much better after having sex.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
