i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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