Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize