I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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