when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
