can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
