i'm lost and i look like a hooker
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
