saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
