well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize