I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I supernannyed him into submission
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
