piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
