I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
