He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
