you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
