awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
