Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
