so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize