Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
