meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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