can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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