We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize