How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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