"it" just moved
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
