I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
