love makes seman taste better
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
