Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
