i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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