Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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