I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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