I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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