Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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