Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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