If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize