My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
