That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
