So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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