READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
