and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
