Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
